Baby #2: the first trimester
Some exciting news: our little family is expanding! We’re hoping to welcome a happy, healthy little baby to our clan sometime next September!
I’ve been secretly blogging about this pregnancy over the past 19 weeks, so will publish those (super-long) recaps this week and then resume blogging the pregnancy in real time (or two-weeks-later-than-real-time, per my usual MO).
December 31st, 2012
Lilly and Jason were downstairs in the kitchen, eating peanut butter toast (Lilly) and drinking OJ (Jason), when I took the test. It was sort of on a whim — I didn’t really think much of it, just that it had been a few weeks and perhaps I should see if I was pregnant. At first nothing, but seconds later, a very faint pink line appeared next to the control line. Surprise! I had no idea.
I washed up and walked downstairs to announce that all of Lilly’s praying about a baby had paid off. (Since October, Lilly has been folding her hands in prayer and when we ask what she’s praying for, she says “baby”, completely unprompted.)
There were hugs and kisses as the news began to set in.
It’s still sinking in.
Admittedly, it’s taken a bit for our good news to really sink in. ANOTHER baby! How lucky are we?!
The timing of baby’s arrival just about coincides with the start of a new school year for yours truly. I haven’t worked out how I feel about teaching (or not) next fall.
I am really excited about seeing baby in there during next week’s ultrasound. I am excited about figuring out just who is hanging out in there next September. I am not excited about the Tired that’s headed my way, especially as a majority of my work gets done when Lil is sleeping — if I’m sleeping when she’s sleeping, almost a necessity when the Tired hits, when will I get my work done? Will I have enough energy to keep chasing around a busy toddler? Will I have the discipline/freedom to slow down, to listen to the Tired and take a break for the sake of the new little baby residing inside me?
And, the tiny, nagging question in the back of my brain, my pregnant self jaded by our first loss: will this one make it?
We got the best news ever at our 6 week 6 day ultrasound: there’s a baby in there and it has a heartbeat! It’s measuring right on target for an early September arrival (although given older sister’s desire to stay put until 42 weeks, I’m constantly reminding myself that this baby could actually arrive mid- or mid-to-late September). A huge sigh of relief, and now I’m allowing myself to get even more excited about a new little one joining us.
We got some pictures from the ultrasound and I like to announce that baby looks just like its sister did at this age. 🙂 Both are fuzzy blobs of white.
The Tired is setting in. And the nausea. So I’ve been sleeping when Lil sleeps and ignoring how messy my house is. Lilly and I took a glorious 3.5 hour nap the other day. Thank goodness she still naps! It’s frustrating, not getting anything accomplished, but I have to remind myself just to stop and rest for baby’s sake.
Blah. Nausea is here! The Tired is bad as ever. I don’t remember feeling this terrible with Lil, and I worry that maybe I am not taking care of myself as well as I did with Lil. With her, I was unemployed and childless and napped and ate eggs/bacon/cheese (what I craved in the first trimester) whenever I wanted. I can’t do that now, although the toddler/prego nap and eating schedules seem to be lining up pretty well. She needs to eat almost constantly some days, and so do I. She gets a 2-hour mid-day nap, me too! It works out well.
Lilly is so sweet about the baby. We talk about the tiny baby in mama’s tummy, and every once in a while, she’ll point to my belly and say, “baby! mama! tum!” The other day, we were reading on the couch, and completely unprompted, she leans over my stomach and yells, “HIIIII!” and then “BBBYYYYEEEE!” When asked who she was talking to, she said, “Tine (tiny) baby.” Jason and I were laughing so hard! I can only hope she’ll be this happy about having a new baby when we actually bring the baby home. She is just baby-crazy right now – always spotting babies when we’re out, playing with her baby dolls, loving on the baby at day care. It’s so sweet.
My first doctor’s appointment went pretty well this week, although I think baby is already messing with me. The doctor saved the part where she listened for the baby’s heartbeat until the end of the appointment. I had still been nervous about losing the baby (still jaded after my first pregnancy was a loss), so was very much looking forward to this part of the appointment. I laid there for what seemed like FOREVER as the doctor searched for the baby. She nervously explained that they had recently gotten a new piece of equipment and that she was still learning to use it efficiently. MINUTES passed, my nervousness increasing as I heard nothing but the occasional catch of my own heartbeat. FINALLY she found the baby, hiding perhaps? and I was so relieved to hear the racing of it’s tiny little heart. 175 beats per minute. YES!
I weighed in at 33 lbs less than the last time I was weighed at my 42-week appointment with Lil. I’m taking that as a good sign. Although I can already tell that my tummy is swelling, I had gotten back down into my pre-Lil-pregnancy clothes a few months before getting pregnant again. I can still fit into many of the pants, although probably not for much longer. This is a good sign, I think. Since I’m still nursing Lil, I’ve been pretty concerned about making sure I’m taking in enough food & liquid for everyone. This was extra tricky last week, when I caught what I self-diagnosed as norovirus and spent a day expelling all food & liquid from my body and another three days trying to recover. Luckily, mama bear came to the rescue and played with Lil and got me all caught up with housework.
We had another ultrasound – this time assessing risk of birth defects. It was a long adventure at the hospital — we waited nearly an hour after our scheduled time to be seen, and then were met with a woman who not only refused to talk to us, but wouldn’t smile even. My usual flattery seemed lost on her. That was terrible — we walk in SO EXCITED to see our baby, and are met with blank stares.
Lilly was happy to see the baby on the screen, but nervous about mama laying on the bed and getting poked by the ultrasound tech. The baby was in exactly the wrong position for the measurement that the tech needed to get (the side profile of the baby’s neck), so there was a lot of almost-painful poking going on that day.
The rest of the first trimester (and transition to the second trimester!) was uneventful. Some nights I needed 12 hours of sleep, others the standard 7-8 seemed to do. Sometimes I napped with Lil, others not so much. I went back to working full days at the office instead of doing mornings at the office and trying to work nights — this made a huge difference for my sanity and gave me much needed sleeping time, but OH! do I miss that girl when she’s away from me all day. How am I going to do 2 days at the hospital without her!?
In week 14 my belly suddenly popped. I’m feeling much bigger and much more uncomfortable when wearing buttoned pants all day (let’s be real: if I’m home with Lil all day, I’m typically wearing pjs or yoga pants all day – not buttoned pants!)
Also, I should note that one of my biggest sadnesses about this baby is that it won’t get my undivided attention like Lilly did. Already I neglect the baby by not giving a week-by-week on the blog, and I know I have NO chance of documenting things well here. I remember our newborn days with Lil – just sitting and staring at her for hours. I feel sad that we won’t be able to do this with the new baby – we’ll be too busy attending to the demands of our toddler in addition to caring for baby. I can’t even wrap my head around how busy we’ll be — our life already feels so incredibly full and fast, how will we have/make time for more?
On the other hand, I should try to remember that this baby already has an incredible gift that Lilly didn’t have when she was born: a sibling. I do hope that they will always view each other as such, that they will appreciate each other, play together nicely, and teach each other (good) things.