pregnancy: weeks 4-8
Thanks much for your sweet comments & well-wishes after our announcement last week! It is much appreciated & definitely contributes to our excitement about the little one. I’ve been recording my thoughts over the past… 16 weeks (whoa! I can’t believe it’s been that long already!). I tried to skip the parts that were really TMI, although it’s entirely possible one’s ability to censor oneself goes out the window once they become preggo, since I’ve gotten a serious amounts of information from others who have been through this, and also since I find myself sharing things with close friends – things about boobs and bowel movements – that I never thought I would. Anyways. I’ll try to keep it clean up in here.
I didn’t want to take the test.
I really didn’t think I was pregnant and I didn’t want to look at a negative pregnancy test. And if it was positive? Oh boy. That would be an entirely different bag of worms, wouldn’t it?
I put it off for days. I really didn’t think I was pregnant. But finally, Jason persuaded me to just do it.
It was instantly positive. I smiled, then walked downstairs, where J was eating breakfast, gave him a hug and told him he was going to be a daddy.
And, like that, I found myself thrilled and terrified. What if this one doesn’t make it? How would I be able to handle another loss like that? And what if it does make it? Are we ready for this?
We headed to Costa Rica for the week, as the news of our pregnancy slowly sunk in. I’m sure I’m the only pregnant woman to pack feminine hygiene products in her suitcase, justincase. Ahh, yes, thank you, previous loss for my slightly jaded view of pregnancy.
We decided the baby needed a nickname, and came up with Rico. So from here on out, it’s Rico or assorted pronouns, since we won’t be finding out the sex of the baby until it’s born (so don’t read into my willy-nilly use of “he” or “she” – it really means nothing).
Also? I flew without medication for the first time in 5 years. Turns out Xanex is not great for developing fetuses.
And no wine for me at the all-inclusive resort.
And I passed up the spicy tuna rolls at the sushi bar, opting for the all-veggie option instead.
I am giving myself a gold star for the week.
I had my blood drawn this week to make sure my hcg levels (pregnancy hormone) were on track.
Let’s talk about how I couldn’t sleep at all the night before because I was nervous that I had lost the baby and they were going to have to vacuum it out of me.
Thank God that didn’t happen. Levels are normal, things are progressing as they’re supposed to. Phew.
Bring on the nausea!
Or not. I mean, I wanted it – I asked for it – so that I’d know things were going okay.
And now that it’s here, I take it back. This is a little miserable. Saltines & oatmeal are my BFFs. And water.
Am trying hard to view it as a blessing & reminder that things are going as they should.
But my gentle pleading please baby stay in there has been replaced with an urgent and emphatic you better stick. I don’t want this all to be for nothing.
AKA The best week of my pregnancy so far.
We had an ultrasound appointment this week. I couldn’t sleep the night before – I’ve got a cough and I was terrified terrified that something was going to be wrong or that there would be nothing on the screen like our last ultrasound, the one right after my miscarriage. I was given the option of having the ultrasound earlier – toward the end of week 6 or during week 7, but I reallyreallyreally wanted to see something, a heartbeat, a baby, whatever, and I decided that putting the US off for a few days would improve my chances of that.
And, YOU GUYS! I got my wish. Seconds after the US gel & wand were placed on my belly, the static-y image of a little blob appeared. And that image moved. Regularly. I’m certain that words can’t convey my excitement, joy, and relief at that very moment. I’m sure I squeeled.
Jason entered the room a minute later (we were both running late, but I managed to make it to the appt before him). I’m sure I squeeled again. Jason smiled. He’s a little more even-tempered than I am.
We learned that our little one is 1.77 cm tall this week, and has a heart rate of 163. He looks like he’s taking a a nap on his little yolk sac (the arrow is pointing at his head), and my guess is that the darker white blob on his right side might be a limb. So maybe he is giving us the finger already. Thank you, baby, for preparing us for your teenage years early.
Seeing the little guy in there really made things real. I’m a little weirded out that there is a thing with a heartbeat INSIDE me. It’s freaky and awesome all at once.
Previously, we were the type of people who made fun of the people who posted their US pictures on Facebook – because, umm, really? It looks like a static-y blob. Nothing to report home about. But now? I totally get it. I kind of want to carry the photo and show it to random people on the street. Because we’ve decided not to really share the news until after the first trimester is over, and waiting another 6 weeks to bring out the photos might kill me.
I’m continuing to take yoga classes – I started last January & had been taking the more advanced class, which really means nothing more than I was doing a million pushups each class and trying to use only my hands to hold my entire body off the ground. Meaning: it was really hard. A great workout. Now, though? I find myself back in the standard class, and I can barely do that. I mean, some of the poses I’m actually not allowed to do in my pregnant state. The rest, though? I’m so out of breath by about 15 min in, that I need frequent water breaks. I’m noticing that I’m not as easily able to bend forward – I used to be able to easily reach my ribs to my thighs. Now? Not so much.
I’m not registering these things as complaints – just surprises. I never expected that I would be so out of breath with such minimal physical exertion. I didn’t think that bending would be noticeably different this early on (I mean: the kid is 1.77cm. He really shouldn’t be taking up that much room yet… right?). I didn’t think I’d ever report to JT that I was completely exhausted after getting only 8 hours of sleep one night (I think 12 is becoming the new 8). So surprising that something so tiny can just completely and totally exhaust you. And rock your world.