2010 week 31

This week has been full of the usual.  Stalking tomato hookworms on my tomato plants.  Picking what seems like a gazillion jalepenos and cherry tomatoes.  Carefully inspecting the rest of the plants and pleading with them to produce something cool (this week we got 1 tomato, 1 cucumber, and 2 cayenne peppers).  Scouring the internet for recipes involving anything we picked from the garden.

My biggest achievement for the week was finally mastering Martha’s multigrain bread recipe.  I’ve made about 12 loaves of this, and none have risen properly.  Until this week.  As it turns out, the salted sunflower seeds that I added to the bread likely destroyed most of my yeast friends.  Duh. So I added a little extra yeast this time, and, as it was supposed to, the bread actually rose in a reasonable amount of time.  Thrilling!

In other news, I’ve been sewing up a storm!  The past few weeks I’ve had a date with my sewing machine every evening (while watching tv, too – I am a marvelous multi-tasker).  I think that Jason would be jealous had I not gone on two out-to-dinner dates with him this past week.

And as we ate dinner together, I mentioned that we’d probably be parents right now if it weren’t for the miscarriage.  We’re okay with it.  But it’s still weighing heavy on my heart this week, thinking about what might have been.  I wonder if I’ll ever stop thinking about what might have been.  I wonder if this would be easier if I was pregnant again.  Or if all 378 of my facebook friends hadn’t announced pregnancies in the last 7 months.  I know it’s horrible, and that I should be genuinely happy for these people, but every time I open my fb account and there’s another pregnancy announcement, there’s a selfish little part of me that says, “why isn’t that me?“  And then I feel bad for being like that.  Jason reminds me that just because they’re announcing now doesn’t mean that they haven’t had their own struggles.  No one talks about the bad times, only the good.  It’s like an illusion.  One that sometimes makes me feel very, very, very alone.  Sigh.

{how to get back on track after that?}

In other news, this week I officially received word that I will be teaching at localsmallcollege next winter and spring!  Yes!  Just waiting to get the contract in the mail.

The dogs are getting trained (by me).  I figure that someone who has studied the principles of operant behavior for the last 10 years of her life should probably have well-trained dogs.

They already knew sit, lay down, and wait.  (Barley likes to drool while he waits – because he knows a treat is coming.  So funny, yet disgusting.)  We’re working on stand.  And I’m working on getting Jezzie to walk nicely – that is, with her in heel position by my side instead of pulling me.  It’s kind of a pain, because I take both dogs on a walk at the same time (they’re always so excited to go – I’d feel too guilty leaving one behind), so I’ve got two leashes – Jezzie’s tied around my waist, Barley’s over my wrist.  I’m wearing treat pouch (nicknamed the dork pouch, because I feel like a total dork when I have dog food strapped to my waist), and grabbing treats with my right hand, then bending down to hold the handful of treats next to my left knee so that both dogs walk next to me on my left side.  And I’m trying to walk while all of this is going on.  I’ve only gotten caught up in the leashes and tripped once, a testament to my gracefulness.  Don’t worry, a car passed just as I fell into the ditch.  So classy.  There was nothing I could do but laugh.

And, the only thing left to tell you about my week is that I borrowed a friend’s carpet cleaner, and I’ve spent a considerable amount of time cleaning the carpets, recleaning them, rinsing them, rerinsing them.  I am disgusted and gratified by all of the dirt that’s coming out of the carpet, and I’m hoping that this will get rid of any smells that I’m paranoid that our house has.  Gosh I can’t wait till we can afford to install hardwoods!

Our ice cream maker arrived this week, in addition to a meat grinder, thanks to the Crate and Barrel gift cards I’ve been hoarding since our wedding almost two years ago.  So this weekend, we’re making ice cream!  Yes!  Can. Not. Wait!